Worship Fully

     In the midst of all that is going on in our lives, its easy to get distracted.  School, work, homework, extra-curricular activities, family time, friends time, leisure time, sleep, and I’m sure you could add on to the list can create such a perfect storm that we rarely take time to stop and think and focus ourselves on what matters.

   This is true of Christmas time as well.  In the midst of all that has been added to this season; Santa, gifts, parties, sweet sweaters, The Elf, Christmas Vacation, wish lists, and egg nog - it can be easy for us to lose sight of what it is we are really celebrating.  The difficult part about that is that pretty much everything in the above list is a good thing.  Lots of good things can cause us to lose sight of a better thing!

    Christmas is a great time to consider what it is that we are truly worshipping.  What is it that we desire most, what are we living for, what matters most to us?  There is a constant tension in our lives as other things seek to take the space that should be God’s alone.  Kingdoms are at play that are moving in different directions and sometimes we latch on the wrong kingdom.  Sunday we read through Matthew 2:1-12 which tells the story of the wise men making their trek to visit Jesus.  Along the way, King Herod (representing one of the kingdoms of the day) sought to use the wise men to find Jesus so that he could extinguish any threat that this newborn king might pose to his kingship.  Jesus represented a totally different kingdom, one that he would teach about and call the Kingdom of God.  The kingdom that Jesus taught about was not about earthly power or territory, instead it was about displaying God’s glory, it was about God’s love, desire, and will being displayed on Earth as it is in heaven.  The wise men had to answer a question of worship - would they chose to worship Herod and the kingdom of their day or would they chose to worship a baby and the kingdom of God?

     We who live in comfort in America are posed with a question of worship too (especially during Christmas time) - will we worship God and seek to line our lives up with his Kingdom or will we worship consumerism and the Kingdom of stuff?  What matters more to us?  I challenged you to envision yourself as an 80 year old person looking back on your life (this is extremely hard to do and a bit weird - I know) and we asked the question, would your life matter more, would it tell a better story if it was spent blessing and giving to others (one example = clean water) or accumulating stuff for yourself (one example = a pile of Christmas gifts)?  What do you think...

Advent Conspiracy

     Sunday we began a new series called, Advent Conspiracy.  For many folks, Christmas is their favorite time of the year.  Its pretty easy to see why - presents, family time, days off of school and work, joyful music, snow… we could continue on because there is a lot to love about this time of year!  We’re not bashing that or saying that there is anything wrong with that, its great that people enjoy this season.  At the same time, as people who follow Christ, this season has a deep and rich meaning for us and we want to make sure that we drink that in over the course of the next month.

     In order to really engage the Christmas season we are joining in on an Advent Conspiracy.  That may sound a little sketchy to you but the idea is that we want to join together to bless other people during this season - pretty simple and really not sketchy at all!  Our goal is to change the way we celebrate Christmas a little so that instead of accumulating more stuff, we’ll have some money available to invest in a project that will give clean water to a village in Thailand that otherwise would not have it.  Having clean water to drink is a huge thing (do a google search and read a little about the effects of not having clean water!).  If we raise $500, 30-40 people will have the resources and help they need to pipe water down from streams in mountains into their village and for the first time in their lives they will have clean water available in their villages! The rest of the Central church family is giving towards the same goal and if together we raise $5,000 an entire village of 300-400 people will have clean water.

In order to do this, we’re asking you to consider doing two things:
(1) ask for less stuff - ask your parents to give you one less gift and instead donate what they would have spent on you to the Advent Conspiracy H2O Project
(2) give less stuff - instead of purchasing an item for someone who you were going to buy a gift for, give them a relational gift (more ideas to come for those!) and give the money you would have spent to the H20 Project

    Together, we can do things just a little differently this year and in doing so bless an entire village thousands of miles away!  I can’t think of a more beautiful way to engage the deeper meaning of the Christmas season and share God’s love with others.

     At Face 2 Face on Sunday, we talked about how Jesus showing up changes everything.  God moving into the neighborhood and promising that he would be with us always, changes everything.  Immanuel, “God with us”, changes everything!  We are invited to join with God, to believe, to have hope, to live the way Jesus did and in so doing leverage our lives to continue changing things!  One of the things that we recognize to be true in Jesus being born and giving his life for us is that his gift is a relational gift.  He gave himself and made a sacrifice, he gave so that we might know him and know love and grace.  So often, we expect things and gifts and stuff to fulfill us when in reality the things that we think will fulfill us often end up being forgotten about a few years down the road.  But the things we do remember, the things that have lasting meaning and significance to us are when people give of themselves and give us relational gifts, gifts that help us to know that we are loved and known.  This week, remember the relational gift that has been given to us in Jesus and consider what relational gifts you can give this year that might ultimately be more meaningful to your family and friends.  Maybe that means cooking a meal for your family, going for a walk with your mom or committing to have breakfast one Saturday a month with your dad, there are all kinds of gifts that we can give that will ultimately be much more meaningful than toasters and coffee mugs!

PAUSE

Last weekend we took some time to breathe.  We acknowledged the fact that life seems to constantly move towards the hectic.  Without wanting it or intending for it, life becomes about worry and stress.  We hate it, yet we feel stuck.  The bad news is that our culture is structured in such a way that this is normal.  The good news is that we don't have to simply go with the flow until it controls us, we can step away from what is normal, we can PAUSE.

Bryan posted a great summary of our retreat yesterday.  You guys should definitely give it a read just for a refresh and recap.  Or if you were unable to join us, it'll give you a great idea of what we thought about during the weekend.

I want to just take a minute to encourage you to think about the impact pausing can have on your life and how you can making pausing a part of your everyday life.

As you think about your week, consider these questions:

- How do you get perspective on life?  What helps you see the bigger picture of who God is and who you are on a daily basis?

- Do you take time every day to pause and to broaden your perspective on life?  If not, how could you do that?  What would it look like?

- Are there friends around you who would be willing and able to help you keep your focus on things that truly matter?  Could you be more intentional about developing friendships that help you grow closer to God on a daily basis?

- How do you love God and love others every day?  This is the key, this is the ultimate in gaining perspective.  Try pausing each day to think about how you can love God and love others and then act on it and see how that impacts the way you see life.

My prayer for all of us is that we would see the importance of stopping and pausing so that we don't rush through life, missing God and others along the way.

What Do We Really Want?

     What do we really want?  If we all stopped and took a couple minutes we could come up with a pretty good list of things that have been on our minds over the last few days, weeks, and months...things that we want.  These things range from Volcano Tacos, new music, and new clothes to boyfriends/girlfriends, less homework, and better relationships with our parents.  Some of those may be true for you, some may not be but what is true for all of us is that we want something.  We always want something.  That's not a bad thing in and of itself, its a part of life and I believe its a part of the way that God has created us.  I also think it something that we should actually give some thought to though.

     One thing that we need to realize about our wants is that we live in such a way as to get what we want.  Seems pretty basic right?  It is and that's why we have to keep it in check.  If we don't stop to think about what we want and why we want it, we can begin to live in ways that lead us to places that we don't really want to go.  What we've experienced to be true in our lives is that usually the joy of getting what we want doesn't fulfill us for long.  Ever gotten something you really, really wanted and it was all good for a little while and then the newness wore off and two months later you barely thought about what it was that you got again?  These cycles happen often in our lives and we rarely take time to think about the fact that stuff really doesn't fulfill us.  It never will be able to.

    Last week we took a look at the world and thought about how different our wants are from people who live in different places and under different living conditions around the world.  Take a couple minutes and check out this site for some statistics.

    This week we want to do something tangible, we want to take action to help do something about the wants of others.  I'm asking you to sacrifice something this week; sell clothes to Plato's closet, do chores to makes some money, or maybe deep into that money you've been saving up for something!  Bring it in and we'll all put our money together and we're going to help making a micro-loan through www.kiva.org that will allow someone in another country to work towards making their community a better place!  The beauty of KIVA is that the person who we loan money to will pay it back and when they do well get to "pay it forward" again and bless another person and on and on.  Your sacrifices, you giving up what you want can be a tremendous blessing to someone thousands of miles away!  Talk to your parents about it, they might like to get involved too.

WE Need Community

     Over the past few weeks we have been talking about our need for community.  We've described community as us having authentic relationships with people that go deeper than the surface level friendships that we comfortably slip into.  Community is about doing life with other people.  So many times we get so focused on ourselves that we struggle to see outside of ourselves.  We think this self-focus will lead us satisfaction but in the end we find ourselves lonely. 

     Genesis paints a picture of our need for community as God looks on Adam alone in a beautiful, near perfect garden surrounded by the beauty of nature and all kinds of animals and he sees that it is not good for Adam to be alone.  God does not want us to be alone.  Often our loneliness is self-imposed, its the result of our fear to be truly known and of truly knowing others.  Or maybe we don't experience the fullness of right relationships because we've blown it in some way, we've damaged our relationship with others, we've burned bridges and we don't want to deal with it, we can't muster up the courage to admit to mess-ups and so we continue on alone.  God does not want us to be alone.

     An unfortunate part of our world is that there are lots of people out there who are alone and they are struggling to find a way out.  We have a tendency to push people aside who are not like us, people who for whatever reason aren't the people we want sitting next to us at the dinner table.  Jesus calls us to look after the widows and the orphans, those who especially in the culture of his day were utterly alone.  True community does more than simply seek out authentic relationships with those who are "like us" - it goes deeper, it seeks to find the alone and pull them into community.  God does not want anybody to be alone.  We must develop eyes to see the lonely and hearts to pursue them and invite them into true community.

     As we pursue community in these ways, we learn about God in ways we can never dream.  We have our own views of how we see the world but when we begin to enter into true community with others, our worldview opens up and we become able to see the world in ways we never have before.  We may think we know about God, but we gain a much fuller image of God as we do life with other people who are pursuing God.  True community can be difficult, it can even be scary at times as we open ourselves up but as we truly begin to do life with others we will begin to experience the beauty of God, love, and life in ways we never could have imagined before.  Seek God, seek true community.

RHYTHM - Passion

If we aren’t in rhythm with others, we can’t be in rhythm with God.

If we aren’t in rhythm with others, we can’t be in rhythm with God. Haven’t you ever wished that this were not true? Isn’t it sometimes easier to love God than to love people? God doesn’t cut us off in traffic--people do. It’s not always easy to get along with other people but our relationships with other people are a very important part of who we are.  Do you have several relationships around you that are broken as a result of people treating each other poorly? Maybe its your fault, maybe it’s the other persons fault – but there is not doubt to you that the relationship has problems, its out of rhythm.  Do you have tension and stress in your life that is caused by relationships with people and you just cant seem to understand why it bothers you so much?  God is passionate about people, all people, and we are wired in such a way that we desperately need to be in relationships with other people.  Loneliness is a feeling that we all would like to avoid.  Loneliness is a result of our relationships with other people being out of rhythm and as a result of that our relationship with God is too.  We know that the source of many of the problems we see, experience, or cause are the issues of power and selfishness.  We put others down to make us look better and others do the same for us.  This week we are called to struggle with how we can have rhythm in our relationships in the midst of a culture that encourages this kind of attitude.  In Matthew 5, Jesus teaches us a radical response to relating to other people; he calls us to humble ourselves and do the hard work of forgiving and seeking forgiveness so that we can be in right relationships with other people.  Wrestle with that this week, remember that rhythm with others is about treating people right, acting fairly toward others and forgiving them when they hurt us. This is a pretty straightforward principle, but it can be really difficult to carry out.
Take some time and think through these questions (if you want to find a friend to discuss them with, that would be even better!)
- What does it mean for you to be in rhythm with other people?

- Is it possible to love God and not love people?

- Read Matthew 5:23-24.  What does this verse say about the connection between being in rhythm with God and being in rhythm with others?

- Our relationships with other people are a reflection of our relationship with God. Use adjectives to describe what your relationships say about your relationship with God.

- Have you ever been out of rhythm with someone close to you? What was the situation like? How did it affect you?

- Have you ever known someone who hurt you or someone close to you but outwardly acted like they were best friends with God? What is the danger in saying you are a Christian if you are unable or unwilling to care about the people 
around you?

- Inevitably, there will be times when you fall out of rhythm with those around you. What can you do to get back in rhythm when that happens?

Spend some time thinking about your relationships. Who are you not in rhythm with right now? Maybe something small has gotten between you and someone else, or maybe it’s something really huge. Take some time right now to sit and think about that person. Think of them the way God thinks of them; try to see them with His eyes.

When you feel ready, pray for them. Be honest. If you still find it difficult to forgive them, ask God for His help. If you know that you wronged them, ask God to forgive you and show you how to make things right. Then, go do it. Have that tough conversation. Write that note. Show that person that they matter to you.

RHYTHM - Discovery

    God loves us no matter what, but can we love ourselves? Last week, we heard that God is good and He causes us to wonder at His goodness. This week, we talked about the fact that the way we view ourselves is significant and impacts many areas of our lives. 

    We have all had moments of insecurity. Since we’ve been talking about rhythm in this series, we could say that we’ve all been out of rhythm with ourselves. Maybe that sounds crazy, but there are many things that can get us out of rhythm with ourselves. Insecurity, anger, guilt, frustration and abandonment all throw us out of the rhythm we were created for. When we feel insecure we feel weak, and in our moments of weakness we are faced with a choice. How are we supposed to respond in those moments? What can get us back in rhythm? When we aren’t okay with who we are, when we are off and something in us isn’t right, then everything else is affected . . . relationships, spiritual life, everything. We are created to be in rhythm--rhythm with God, rhythm with others and rhythm with ourselves. The problem is when we aren’t in rhythm with ourselves, we can’t be in rhythm with God and others.

Check out John 4:3-18; 25-30

    Jesus is letting her know that there is more to life than how she is living now, out of rhythm with God. There is something wrong in her life, in other words she is hiding something, and He knows it. This woman is wearing a mask.  He is literally sitting down next to her and saying, “Life isn’t working for you, is it? Let Me offer you another way of living, the way you were created to live.” He is not simply implying that she repeat some words after Him and everything will be okay when she dies. That’s just a portion of what He is offering her. He is implying she needs rhythm with herself now--something she can only have when she is in rhythm with God, herself and others. Jesus speaks into her deepest needs and lets her know that He has the capacity to heal her. Remember, Jesus was gathering disciples . . . so His invitation is for her to come out of hiding and begin walking with Him. He is saying, “Hiding isn’t working too well, is it?” Jesus unraveled her secret.

    To be in rhythm with yourself is to love yourself. It spills out into every other area of our lives. This is the problem with addiction. Addiction to anything breeds self-hatred. The problem with lying is that it means we don’t like ourselves and we have to make something up. The problem with gossip is that we don’t like ourselves so we have to talk about why everyone else is a failure. All of these behaviors breed self-hatred. When we don’t love ourselves we begin to lie and gossip and cheat, but it just makes the problem worse. We get further and further from who were are supposed to be. And the more we lie, the more we have to lie. The masks just get thicker and more elaborate. Pretty soon, we don’t know who we are, we just know the image we’re trying to project. This is why we aren’t intended to hide.

    We can try to hide from others, just like the woman at the well, but we can’t hide from God. He sees us--all of us. Every horrible thing that you are painfully aware of, every bad thing you’ve said or done, every defect in who you are, He sees, and He doesn’t run away. He doesn’t hide. He comes right where you are and shows you that who you think you are isn’t even close to who He made you to be. The God of the universe who created everything, the biggest, most indescribable Being wants to be in a relationship with you. He created you to be in relationship with Him. He gave you emotions and feelings. He created you to love. We are the only things in creation with this ability. This discovery should cause us to realize who we are and to love ourselves and strive for rhythm with ourselves. When we don’t realize this is who we are, we’ll spend the rest of our lives looking for an identity.

Take some time and think through these questions (if you want to find a friend to discuss them with, that would be even better!)

- What does it mean to be in rhythm with yourself?

- Does it feel odd that God wants us to love ourselves? What do you think is the most difficult thing about loving yourself? 

- Have you ever known someone who really struggled to be in rhythm with themselves? What was that person like?

- Think about the story of the Samaritan woman. Jesus knew that to meet her deepest need He would need to help her see that she was worthy of love. Why did this woman feel unworthy of love?

- What are some things that could make you feel unworthy of love?

- Why does loving yourself matter so much?
How does it affect your relationship with other people? 
How does it affect your relationship with God? 
How does it make you feel?

- How do we do love ourselves? How can you see yourself as God sees you? (Note: Scripture is a great way to remind yourself of who God says you are.) 

- What do you need to discover about yourself today when it comes to being in rhythm with yourself? What is the hardest thing for you to believe about who God says you are? 

RHYTHM - Wonder

     A sense of wonder will keep us in rhythm with God. This is basically the essence of Solomon’s argument, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalm 111:10 NIV). Wonder is the beginning of rhythm. If we want to live a life in sync with the Creator of the universe, we must begin by recognizing who He really is. We need to pursue a sense of wonder. Who is this God we serve? What is He like? Why should we desire to live in rhythm with Him?

    We need to be challenged to look at God in new ways. So many times we find that we are so familiar with “churchy” descriptions of God that we forget who He really is or maybe we never have really known much about God and we really haven’t cared enough to find out more. When we forget who God is, how awesome and surprising He can be, or when we neglect God altogether, then we are tempted to turn our attention and affection to other things. As a result, our lives fall out of rhythm. We desperately need to discover a God who is bigger than our attempts to define Him. And the reality is that if we feel like we know everything about God, then we really don’t know Him at all because He’s so much bigger than trite, simplistic answers or cliches. God will consistently amaze us all throughout our lives.


Take some time and think through these questions (if you want to find a friend to discuss them with, that would be even better!)

- What are some things that amaze you? What captures your sense of wonder? 

- What are some things that you hear a lot--at home, at church, at school? Has the impact of those words or statements lessened because you’ve heard them so much?

- Are there any things that you’ve heard or know about God that don’t seem to impact you as much as they used to? What are some examples?

- Have you ever had a moment when you felt a sense of wonder and awe about God? Describe it. 

- What would a life in rhythm with God look like? Read the Message version of Romans 12:1-2 - So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

-  What are some signs in your life that you are out of rhythm with God? 

- Read Psalm 19:1-10. David, the author of this psalm, had a sense of wonder about God. Ask students to talk about how God is described in these verses.

-  How does your sense of wonder affect your relationship with God? If you are bored with God, what do you think could restore your sense of wonder about who He is? 

      -  In closing, read Ephesians 3:16-19.

RHYTHM - The Song

      Have you ever noticed how connected everything is? It’s almost as if there were some type of unseen structure to all of life—a rhythm. Many of us are oblivious to it until things are out of sync. We know something is wrong and we might even be able to pinpoint a few things around us that are culprits, but deep down we know there is something more going on. During the first week of the Rhythm series we realized that in the beginning, God established a rhythm. We see this through the story of creation and the harmony that existed between Adam and God, Adam and nature, and Adam and Eve. From the start, everything worked together in perfect harmony like a beautiful song. But then Adam and Eve made a choice that destroyed the song and threw off the rhythm. God didn’t abandon Adam and Eve in response to their sin, he pursued them, he remained in relationship with them. This is a beautiful picture that reminds us of God’s grace and love for us, God continues to seek relationships with us even after things have fallen apart.

Take some time and think through these questions (if you want to find a friend to discuss them with, that would be even better!)

- Since everything in our world was created with a rhythm, what happens if something is offbeat? For instance, what would happen if the sun didn’t come up tomorrow morning? Can you think of other similar examples.

- Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks) when nothing worked? One of those times when nothing was in sync with what you were doing or wanting? What happened?

- Have you ever felt that way in your relationships . . . like maybe something just wasn’t right between you and someone else (a friend, a parent, a teammate)? Describe what was going on. How did you handle it? Did you talk to the person? Did you just ignore the feeling? Did you avoid the person?

- Read Genesis 3:6-7: “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves” (NIV). How did Adam and Eve’s choice affect the rhythm God had created?

- Adam and Eve blew it, didn’t they? All they had to do was avoid that one tree. There were other trees, but there was something about that one tree that they just couldn’t resist. But we’re a lot like them, aren’t we? There are times in our lives when something else captures our attention more than God. Maybe you’ve been too consumed with a hobby, sport or boy/girl. Maybe you were too self-centered about something. Maybe it was a relationship with someone else. How did that one thing affect your relationship with God?

- When Adam and Eve sinned, they hid from God. But God didn’t just walk away, He called out to them. All of us have times when we try to hide. There are things going on within each one of us that we don’t want anyone, including God, to see. What are some ways people hide?

- How can hiding affect your relationship with God, yourself or with others?

What's Love Got to do With It? My Attempt at Relational Wisdom

We’ve just concluded a series on relationships at Face 2 Face and I just wanted to take a few moments to add some thoughts to the blog here for you guys to think about.

    As a summary, one of the things we discussed was the idea that our God is a relational God and has created us as relational beings.  God himself exists within the community and relationship of the trinity.  God the father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit are equals sharing in the essence of God.  Within God lies an essential connectedness.  I believe we were created with a longing for this connectedness, above all else our hearts long to be connected with God.  An issue arises when our lives are out of balance and we are not connected to God, we begin to turn to other places to try to fill that void.  One of those places is relationships.  Relationships are not a bad thing, they are a part of what we are created for (see Adam and Eve – Genesis 2:18) but we need to be aware of God’s design for relationships. 

- Above anything else, we should love God. (Matthew 22: 37-38) What we value most is the object of our worship, often we elevate ourselves or others to a place of worship that is intended for God only.  This is the primary example of connectedness being out of balance and it causes our relationships to not be as healthy as they should be.  Ever seen relationships where one of people within the couple is extremely jealous or worried about the relationship ending?  These are just a couple signs that perhaps God is not being worshipped in the relationship above all else.

- You are not ready to be in a relationship if you are not content and at peace with not being in a relationship.  Our focus needs to be on our relationship with God and we should find satisfaction in him.  Relationships with others can be an attempt to fill the void in our hearts that only God can fill.  Do you know anyone who is desperate to be in a relationship and who constantly seeks them out because they hate to be alone or because they need to be in a relationship to make them feel better about themselves?  These are signs that we are not ready to be in a relationship but instead need to turn our hearts to God.

- Dating should be done with marriage in mind.  Dating is not pointless, its not a game, its not something to be played with.  While in high school, you probably don’t want to think about marriage or future relationships but you should be aware that the decisions you make now in your relationships you will carry with you the rest of your lives.  Proverbs 4:23 tells us that above all else we should guard our hearts, I don't think we fully understand how quickly our hearts can get drawn into relationships and what the ramifications of that are.  Are we giving parts of our heart away?  If you're nowhere near being ready for marriage you should know that and you should approach the idea of relationships and whether or not you should be in one with that in mind.

- Should I date a non-Christian?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)  If you are a Christian, your aim in life should be to draw closer to God everyday of your life.  Following Christ should impact all your decisions.  These things are not a part of the lives of people who do not follow God and it is not wise to enter a relationship with those who have a very different view of life from you.  Entering a relationship with someone who you think you can change is not a good idea, if you need evidence of this ask any adult Christian who is married to a non-Christian what they think of the idea, I guarantee that you will get some interesting advice leading you away from dating someone who doesn’t share your beliefs.  I had this same conversation with an 88 year old man last week who was married for over 65 years before his wife passed away last year – I asked him what is the most important part of a marriage and his answer was “shared beliefs.”  This gentleman has seen several marriages of his children crumble and has seen his own get stronger over the years, I put a lot of stock in his words and wisdom.  If you decided to date or marry someone who is not a Christian then you are joining yourself with someone whose life goals and direction are going somewhere different from yours.  You will either compromise your faith or live with an extreme amount of tension and turmoil in your life – both of which have significant consequences.

- You are not ready to be in a relationship if you cannot or are not willing to communicate your sexual boundaries with the person you are getting in a relationship with.  You need to know where you stand and you need to be willing to hold strongly to that and to communicate, if you can’t – you’re playing with fire and are entering dangerous territory.  But where do we draw the lines sexually?  Scripture does not tell us plainly where we can and can’t touch someone before marriage or how long we can kiss but it does give us plenty of direction in the area.  The bottom line is that as Christians, we should understand that sex is designed for within the marriage commitment and anything outside of that is adultery.  We should draw our lines in such a way that we take sex and lust very seriously, we should protect ourselves and others.  Jesus tells us that to even look at another lustfully is adultery (Matthew 5:27-30).  The higher we set our boundaries, the better off we are.  If you would like to read more about this, I highly recommend Sex is not the Problem, Lust Is by Joshua Harris.

- Don't do relationships alone.  Sounds like an odd statement since relationships require more than one person but the point here is that you should have other people who are in the loop in regards to your relationship.  You should have trusted friends and mentors who you can share your thoughts with and who you are open to hearing advice from in regards to your relationship decisions.  If you are afraid to include others, that's a sign that you really need to.  I know I've benefitted from and continue to benefit from hearing from trusted friends and mentors in regards to relationships, they have helped me to make much better decisions than I would have on my own.

- Our relationships with other people should make their lives better.  As we grow closer to Christ, we become transformed into his image.  As we take up our crosses and follow Christ, our lives are marked by his way of living.  If we are not growing closer to God, our relationships are suffer because our lives are not moving in the direction they should be.  Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, your relationships should be marked by these things in profound ways.  When we don’t set sexual boundaries and push limits, when we act out in jealousy, when we don’t respect and put others needs above our own – we act in relationships the way the rest of the world does and we do harm to those we are in relationship with.  We are called to something greater, we are called to be a light in darkness, we are called to be a part of the body of the bride of Christ and our lives should demonstrate the love of God.  We won’t do that perfectly, we’ll mess up from time to time but that is where our lives should be heading, that should be the direction of our decisions.

**If there are other aspects of relationships you want discussed here on the blog, just leave a comment or shoot me an email**